Snuggly Wuggly

Well, it's been over a year since I posted on my blog...way to keep up with it, huh?

I decided this week that I may need to start keeping this more up to date. The time is flying by so quickly, I am worried I am going to start forgetting the cute things that my kids are doing. I am amazed that my daughter is almost 9 1/2 years old. I feel like I was pregnant with her yesterday, but Wesley is almost 3 and I feel like was pregnant with him just yesterday. How does that happen? Where does the time go?

Most of the people in our lives know that Wesley is in speech therapy. He just starting using words a couple months ago. It has been a slow, slow process, but in the last couple of weeks, he has been expanding his vocabulary. He is trying so hard to communicate with us. He will repeat himself several times, and he doesn't get upset, he just keeps saying his little "words" over and over until I finally get it. Last week, he started naming foods which makes sense to me since I love food!

In the evenings, after the big kids have gone to bed, I put on my pajamas and he has on his pajamas and we sit in my bed and snuggle. On Thursday, I told him it was time for "snuggly wuggly." Several times a day, he climbs under the covers, grabs his blanket, points to the pillows and says "Mommy, uggly wuggly?" So, several times a day, we climb under the covers and have snuggly wuggly time.

I don't know that I will do when he is too big for snuggly wuggly.

I love Sugar but will settle for SPLENDA!

About a year ago I went on a "no refined sugars" diet. It worked. I lost tons of weight, stopped having dips in my blood sugars after several hours of not eating and didn't have the major food cravings I would always get for the good stuff like chips, chocolate, candy, etc. The only problem with this diet is that I do like sweet things. Fruit is great, but after a while you want to feel your teeth hurt from the sweetness.

Yesterday, while I was at the grocery store I was planning our meals this week. I have been trying desperately to get back on the "no refined sugars" wagon and it has been a struggle. I don't really need to lose any more weight, but I just felt better when I was eating less sugar. I came across some cinnamon rolls in the dairy case. You know the ones with that cute little dough boy on them. The ones with all the sugar and all the icing and all the delicious flavor and fat and calories. I grabbed them and thought, "The kids would love to have these for breakfast tomorrow." Then I put them back because I knew that I would HAVE to have not one, but two of them and I just don't need that temptation right now. THEN, out of the corner of my eye I saw a different one, same cinnamon rolls, same dough boy, same pretty picture on the package with icing and then I saw the miracle of all grocery shopping miracles. The package said SUGAR FREE. Oh....my.....goooooodneeeeeeeess! I can eat these. They are sweetened with Splenda. I grabbed them and wondered if the kids would notice the difference.

This morning I got up and worked like usual. Wesley woke up early so I had to struggle a bit, but overall he was cooperative and let me work for an hour (another miracle). The kids were out of school today so I turned on the oven to bake the rolls for breakfast. I could tell by the uncooked product that they were different. They didn't pull apart quite the same way, but I figured they were still worth a try. After popping them into the oven I began making my breakfast and feeding Wesley his favorite, grits. The rolls started baking and I could smell them. They smelled the same. I peaked in the oven, they didn't look the same. They were more formed. They didn't melt together and stick to each other like the regular ones. I called the girls down for breakfast as Justin had already been at the counter begging for these little gems.

They were all so excited that they were getting some sugary rolls for breakfast. I didn't bother telling them that they had no sugar. I gave Wesley one and took one for myself as my breakfast dessert. I took just one bite and decided that next time I go shopping we will be buying these again. They were awesome. I couldn't tell a huge difference in them. They weren't as greasy, but they were just as sticky and when we are talking about sweet cinnamon rolls we don't want greasy. We want them sticky. In my "no refined sugars" world they were PERFECT. And the kids didn't know the difference either which was also perfect.

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHNO! I have been tagged!

OK. I haven't updated since November. I really stink at this blog thing. My dear friend Natalie tagged me. Thank goodness this seems to be an easy one.

Four jobs that I have had:
Bank Teller
Waitress
Bartender/manager
Grocery Store Cashier/Supervisor

Four movies that I can watch over and over again:
Beaches
Steel Magnolias
Titanic
Dirty Dancing

Four places I have lived:
(I honestly don't have four different cities that I have lived in so I will lists streets)
Foxgrape Road, Portsmouth, VA
Westhaven Crescent, VA Beach VA
Runaway Bay Drive, VA Beach VA
Baccalaureate Drive, VA Beach VA

Four TV shows I love to watch: (Hey Nat---3 wishes is on CMT now)
Alias
CSI (all of them)
LOST
24

Four websites I read daily (or I at least check on daily):
Babycenter
A few blogs
Old Navy (for sales)
Premier Designs

Four places I have been on vacation:
Disney World
Kill Devil Hills, NC (several years in a row as a teenager)
Nashville Tennessee (short weekend including completing their Country Music marathon)
Bahamas with the family on a cruise ship when I was 14.

Four favorite foods:
Tacos
Mushroom Swiss Hamburgers
Crab legs
Mashed potatoes

Four places I'd rather be:
Disney World
Nashville
St. Thomas
Jamaica

Four people to tag:
My very cool friend Kristen
My incredibly funny Angel
My very busy and smart buddy Aerin
My awesome friend Tess who has been waiting for me to update this blog. (Sorry it isn't much, but I guess it's a good start.)

YAY! 2 a.m. wake up from Ruby Duby Doo!

Normally I wouldn't want the dog to wake me up just so she can get into the bed, but last night was definitely different.

Ruby is a little spoiled and she gets to sleep in the bed with us, if she is able to wake us up to put her on the bed. She isn't tall enough to jump up herself, plus she has a little junk in her trunk and would never be able to hoist herself up if she were tall enough. She can barely make it on the couch without a running start. She is a sweet girl and so cuddly that I don't usually notice I have put her in the bed. She comes to the side of the bed, puts her paws next to me face and acts like she is jumping up by herself. She is close to 20 pounds so I just drag her body up over the side of the bed and lift the blanket up so she can get comfortable.

Last night she woke me like she has been since it has been cooler outside. I drug her up over the side of the bed and she got nice and comfortable in between my arm and side with her head resting nicely on my shoulder (sounds cozy doesn't it?).

All of a sudden I heard a noise, like that stinking mouse was back in my room. I was very still to make sure I wasn't imagining it. I heard it again, the mouse was back in that box that it got out of earlier. I nudged Tony to wake him up.

"Honey..." I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Honey, the mouse is back in the box."

"What I am supposed to do with it?" he mumbled.

"Go get it and put it out in the big trash can. It can't get out of that."

"Only if I can sleep 30 minutes extra in the morning."

"What? Are you kidding me? Go get the mouse. I don't care when you wake up in the morning."

He got up, crawled under the desk, took out the box, ran out the garage door and put it in the big trashcan outside. He comes back to bed and says, "I get to sleep until 7:00."

I was so freaking happy that mouse was gone I had trouble going back to sleep. I did get back to sleep and woke up on time, not worried about stepping on the little rodent. I began working and I usually get about an hour and a half of work in before the kids are up for school, but Wesley had other plans. He woke up very early at 6:30, which is normally when I tell Tony he needs to get up and get a shower. So much for sleeping a half hour later then he wanted.

ACK! I think I saw.....

A FUTTING MOUSE!

I get up early every morning, around 5:00ish, this week more like 5:30 after hitting the snooze button 4 times. It is dark in my room, I get up, walk to my desk, turn on the computer and read my email until my eyes can see clearly. Then I begin working, usually about 15 minutes after sitting at the desk. I am barefoot and in my pajamas. Since it has been cooler this last week I am covered in a blanket. I put on my headset, dial into the hospital dictation network and get typing. I take a break around 6:00 and get my coffee that has just finished brewing.

At 7 a.m. I have to fix breakfast for my school kids. I have now made it through my first cup of coffee. Tony comes in to help get the kids out the door and I head back to work. Wesley is typically still sleeping at this time of the morning.

Today was no different except for the rain which meant Tony was going to drive the kids to the bus. I made breakfast for the kids and prepared their lunches for school. I came straight back to the bedroom with my coffee, put the headset back on and began typing some more. I don't usually put my contacts in until I am finished working so I can see what I am doing, but not much of anything that is far away. Since it was still dark outside this morning the bedroom was still sort of dark, but I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye run along the baseboard under the window. This window is 2 feet away from me. I took a second look and then figured it was just a shadow. About five minutes later Tony came to get his shoes on to leave for the bus. He had just walked out of the room when I saw the same shadow again going the other direction.

WHOA! That's it, feet are up in the chair.

I quietly yelled "Honey?!?!!!!"

"What?"

"Can you please come here?!!!!"

"Why?"

"Just come here, I saw something."

"What?"

"Something rrrrraaaannnn down there." (pointing at the baseboard)

"A mouse?"

"I don't know if it is a mouse, but it ran like one??"

He tells me he has to take the kids, he'll be right back. I nod my head and say "OK?!???" Then, I hear my daughter say, "Um, Daddy. She looks a bit scared."

Then I realized I was crying in fear. Fear of a little, itty bitty mouse.

We had a mouse one time before, our cat took care of that for me. We don't have the cat anymore because she went to heaven earlier this year. I am really missing her today. Not just because of the mouse, but definitely MORE today because of the mouse. My dogs could care less about the mouse. You would think my dachsunds would be going nuts with this little creature roaming around the house. I mean, hello, they have the absolute best sense of smell I have ever seen. But...what are they doing? Sleeping.

Finally, I decided that I would just pretend like I didn't really see a mouse and maybe it was my peripheral vision playing silly tricks on me. I haven't gone into any dark rooms today and I will definitely be turning on the light in the bathroom and closet, but maybe, just maybe it really wasn't here.

Unfortunately, this pretending isn't working out so well. I was sitting here checking email and I heard something, something plastic ruffling around, I thought, Ruby must be messing around with something, but I didn't see her. Then I thought, we maybe she is under the bed. So me, all 32-years-old, fully dressed, and still barefoot is standing up on the bed calling the dog. She wasn't under the bed so I know what that means. I called Tony, at work, asked when he was coming home. He said in an hour. That seems so long to wait while there is an actual rodent in my room. He sweetly tells me to watch where I am stepping and giggles. HAHA. Real flippin' funny.

He better watch out or I won't be killing spiders for him anymore, the little chicken butt.

Tagged Again--Books

Well, I was tagged about a week ago. This will most likely be the more boring tag my friend Tess made since I don't have that many books and cannot remember the last time I read something other than a children's book.

1.) How many books I own: I own about 50 including 3 bibles. My kids have more books than me with a whooping 300ish. Growing up I was not a good reader, I was and I still am more into music. I made sure to expose my daughter to both and she loves to read and loves to sing along to the radio in the car. I plan on doing the same thing with Wesley, he seems to love the books and music just as much as she did when she was a toddler.

2.) The last book I bought: The Red Tent. I have read about 3 pages and I am very interested in actually finishing it, but by the time I get ready to read I fall asleep.

3.) The last book I read: Clifford's Bedtime and before that it was Goodnight Moon.

4.) Five books that mean a lot to me:


1.) Guess How Much I Love You
2.) Goodnight Moon
3.) Moo Baa LaLaLa
4.) The Runaway Bunny
5.) Pat The Bunny

5.) Five people I’ve tagged: I have a feeling by now everyone I know that blogs as been tagged, so I will spare them from being taggedagain.

I've lost it

I say I lost it so many times in a week. It always means something different. Sometimes, I just feel like I might lose it, other times it is definitely lost. I guess the 'it' part is what changes the most.

Somedays the 'it' is my patience. I think I lose this the most. Somedays it isn't even there when I wake up in the morning. Typically this is around that special time of the month. I warned my dear husband yesterday...it's almost time for it to get here again. With each month it seems to be worse, my attitude sucks, I start feeling sorry for myself, I feel ignored or disliked by everyone in the house besides the smallest ones (Wesley, Ruby and Lucky).

Today's 'it' is my willpower for junk food.

I am one of those people that looks in the mirror and analyzes themself down to a little crease or wrinkle in their forehead. I am not really sure why I put myself through this kind of torture, but I do and I have no way of stopping myself. I am happy, though, that I do not do this in front of my daughter. I really hope that she never feels like I do when I look in the mirror.

I have had this battle with myself regarding my body image for well over ten years. It started before I had my first baby. I had always been a skinny little thing, but I hit 21 and realized that getting drunk and eating Taco Bell at 3 a.m. was an exciting thing to do. It wasn't too wonderful for my waistline, butt, or thighs. I had never exercised and it seemed silly to even attempt it since I was a smoker and felt as if I were dying just riding a recumbant bicycle for more than 10 minutes at 10 MPH.

When I discovered my first pregnancy I quit smoking. That caused me to eat pretty much everything in sight. The food tastes and smells so much better after you stop smoking. I remember one day after work making myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in no more than 4 bites. It was the very BEST sandwich I had eaten in my entire life. I gained 60 pounds with that pregnancy.

After a year of carrying around about 40 pounds of extra weight I started Weight Watchers. This program was great since I could still eat a lot of the foods I was already eating and I just gave them all a point value. Plus, they counted walking in the store or mall as exercise. I lost about 20 pounds, but could have lost more with real exercise. I felt really good about myself, but stopped the meetings and gained all the weight back over a short amount of time.

Then I decided to go to the gym. I had the trainer set me on a work out schedule and he talked to me about calories, fat, protein and carbs. I actually found it all pretty interesting and followed the Ballys plan for quite a while. I realized that the cardio aspect of exercise wasn't so bad after a few weeks. I lost that same 20 pounds, but actually looked and felt better than I had in a long time. I even trained and completed 2 full marathons and 2 half marathons within a 1-1/2-year time frame.

After my second half marathon, I wasn't able to walk like I had been before since I had taken on two extra kids and moved to a not-so-walker-friendly neighborhood. I put some of the weight back on again (exercise is definitely a major key), then I got pregnant. During this pregnancy I was very careful about eating and only put on the recommended 30 pounds. Most of that was baby with Wesley weighing in at just under 11 pounds. By the time I had him home from the hospital I was only 5 pounds heavier than before my pregnancy began. I tried to see what would come off by itself and didn't really change too much myself in the food or exercise department. Well, nothing came off. I actually gained a couple more pounds and by Christmas I was actually right back to where I had started when Amber was born.

When Wesley was about 9 months old I decided that enough was enough. I was going to be thin again. I was going to wear a smaller size. Oprah said she was going to tell us what she did on her show. I waited patiently for the show to come on and I watched it without interruption. I bought the book that her trainer wrote.

I started on February 15th. I weighed myself, measured myself and didn't eat any refined sugar all day. I got a headache, but took some Motrin and it went away. I stopped eating 2 hours before bedtime just like she recommended and I walked 30 minutes in the cold, all for me. I wasn't doing it for anyone, but me. I realized that I don't do a lot of stuff for just me and it felt good to put me first some place in my day. After the first 12 weeks I had dropped 25 pounds and several inches and sizes. I started out in a 14 and was in a very loose 10. That is some serious progress.

It has been 8 months now and I continue to stop eating 2 hours before bedtime. If I go passed my normal designated cut off time I will actually stay up later to compensate for it. I haven't been able to exercise like I want to and I can tell I am starting to flab up a little bit. We have had a ton of parties, weddings and special events in the last month and that has really killed my "no refined sugar" rule.

I haven't put on any weight yet, but I have bought a ton of clothes in my new size 8 and I don't want them to be tight. I have to get back on track. My plan is to start fresh on Monday, October 17. The weather is supposed to be mild and in the 70s with sunshine. That is perfect to get back out there walking.

I feel like I am letting myself down and I really hate that feeling. I look at myself in the mirror and I truly just want to be healthy, but I do want to look good while I am looking healthy. I have stretch marks from all the way up here and all the way down to there and I am proud of those, my babies gave them to me. I don't want a tummy tuck or a boob job. I just want to feel better about myself.

So, if the 3 of you who read my blog would please get on my arse a little and say, "Hey, you been walking today?" And, if you need me to do that for you, just let me know.